We all have a story to tell and this is part of mine.
There is so much that I love about living and the life I now live, but it never used to be this way.
From very early on in my life I remember never feeling as though I was enough. Strange yet this was true for me. My perception of myself was of a women who never stood up for herself, who would let people manipulate and abuse her, who would hide in the background so that no-one would see her. Somewhere in the core of my soul I knew that there was more in life, something more was possible than what I was seeing and living. So WHY do I feel like this about myself? What is this about? Most of my life I always tried to “fit” in or be the “good girl” or do out of obligation. I NEVER said: “NO”. I was the one that would always do for others and give and give, nurture everyone in my life, except myself. No-one in my life knew that this is how I felt about myself or the picture I had in my head of who I thought I was. Looking back I know I had a distorted self-perception.
After being this way most of my life I reached a point where there was nothing else to give. The well had finally run dry; I was scrapping the bottom of the barrel. All the muck and stuck stuff was being dredged up. What started to show up in my life was not pretty. So much anger, fear, frustration, numbness, exhaustion, not coping and the list goes on and on.
The catalyst for me to choice to change the way I saw myself and my world happened when I became a mum. I never really knew me prior to being a mum and it got worse after becoming one. Again life was showing me that I nurtured my kids, hubby, family, friends everyone but me. Added to this mix was having Post Natal Depression with both my kids (now 11 and 9). I ended up on the same rollercoaster ride from my child hood. WHY? Well because I never really got to the core of WHY I kept choosing to create my life like this. WHY I never felt good enough to choose more for me.
The journey of many tiny steps began…the exploration and delicious discovery of: WHO AM I? This was my time to rediscover and unlock the real me from behind the barriers that I had placed around my heart, around my whole being to keep others out, only I also kept myself out. I had no idea who I was, what I enjoyed, what I was capable of. I had never taken the time to find me. If I stay hidden then I could hide the fact that I never felt as though I was enough! I always believed that others would also see that I wasn't enough. The lies we tell ourselves can destroy, debilitate and stop us from living.
When we are in a place of survival we cannot conceive what we would like to have in our life. Often getting through our day is all we have in us. I know you can change this. I know that it is possible to move from survival to living your life and enjoying your life.
Will it be uncomfortable? .... Probably. Will it be worth it! .... Every bit of it.
My gift and contribution to you is to empower, inspire and invite you to be you. To offer you simple, practical strategies to cope and live your life. I desire to show you that you can love your life and be the best YOU!
Life is meant to be easy, fun, joyful and filled with gratitude for it all.
It takes time. It takes making choices. It takes action and it takes absolute trust and belief in YOU!
What could possibly change in your life when you know that YOU are enough? You can have a life that you love and I am here for you.
Choose to start where you are today, in this very moment, right now.